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Dating Blog

Tri-State Dating Service dating blog.

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Recent blog posts

Many single people convince themselves that thinking a certain way is the absolute way.  In realistic matchmaking there is another way.  I understand through great analysis that dating is psychological.  The dating process can be anxiety ridden.  Many a single person will run from rejection rather than embrace it.  Many times I hear single people are depressed.   Let’s examine why psychology has all to do with dating.

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Make no mistake about it.  Attitude has a great deal to do with successful dating.  Attracting more quality people with a smile and an open mind is the name of the game.  Complaining about the opposite sex and whining will get you nowhere fast. 

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     Hi everybody.  I didn’t name my radio show Networking Singles for nothing.  I firmly believe that every living human being has value.  Each human being must make a choice to assert who they are.  My radio show is an example of how I assert my brand Realistic Matchmaking.  The listener’s of my show will tell you that I get you to think.  I want you to think about building a vast network.  Maybe you start by listening to my show every Thursday on 1380 AM WNRI from 6-8 PM EST.  Stream it on the internet at www.wnri.com. I believe in the power to persuade.  I believe that if I can persuade you to be open, accepting, with a willingness to talk to people and give them a chance, you will win in the dating game. 

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     Hi everyone.  I am ever so happy these days.  I am happy because my personal New Year’s resolution is to analyze why people were miserable in 2011 and change that in 2012.  I am pleased to tell all of you that in the last 6 weeks progress is being made.   My constant communication is working.   My analysis of the future is brightening up.

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If you had a wish what would you wish for?  I think many single people lament too much about their plight to finding the right person.  In the greatest charming moment in life what would be a valentine wish for you?   Would it be inspiration?  What could I say to inspire you?  I think wisdom is a good thing to wish for in dating.  I think that those that exhibit wisdom make the right choices.  Maybe you could draw from the many quotes famous people made in order to inspire you. 

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I hear about attraction all the time.  Many men base the decision to date women on visual attraction.  In this world we live in a known fact is prevalent, men are visual.  Men are more visual now than ever in my 20 year history of matchmaking.  This caused me to write this article out of great concern.  Why?  Because I think the journey starts when people can embrace the inner self.  I think many men need to look inside women to see the real appeal.  Dating smart instead of visual is what I promote.

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In the singles industry image is a key element to any marketing strategy.  When I got into this business I knew it was full of fluffy looking image messages.  I knew that a matchmaker like me had room to flourish.  Why do you think I am here after 20 years?  I am here because my image and the image I created for Tri-State Dating Service is about truth, realism and relationship building.  So please understand that it isn’t about how things look it is about telling the truth to singles.  I have seen dating services that look good in their presentation.  There is one out there now that changed their name 3 times, they know how to look good, just check the consumer websites and see the huge amount of complaints about them.  Check their websites and what you see is the image of slickness.

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Dating can be fun.  The very idea of people getting together can be purely for fun times.  I believe if you can have fun dates for 3-6 months without the intensity you will have a better chance to end up in a relationship.  It does take a certain fun attitude in order to progress in this idea of mine.

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Have you thought lately that dating is like casino gambling?  Just throw the money down and see what happens. Dating in the minds of many is throwing you into a lottery. Well you may not be alone. The nomadic nature of running from on line dating sites to dances, meet up groups, speed dating, night clubs, activity organizations, social groups and yes ,matchmakers can leave you’re head spinning. My advice to you is to examine why you assume things about people. Going even further take a look at why the vast analysis you put people through may not be healthy.

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Hi everyone, it is time to begin to get a grip on reality, curb anxiety, and adopt a strategy of willing acceptance. In 2011 I saw an all time record number of bitter singles who are on this endless search for the perfect one! Even though time and time again I have in numerous ways advised you that there is no perfect one for anyone!

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Here I go again, some of you know that I feel online dating is a vast failure. The popularity of this craze came to its heightened state in 2005. The market has lost consumers every year since.  Just check out every complaint website on the internet you will find more complaints about online dating sites, you wont find any complaints about Tri-State Dating Service. Many of you go to online dating sites because you think it is a cheap way to meet people. Online dating sites are nothing more than an extension of the personal advertisements that frequented magazines and news papers. The benefit of a service like mine is safety and verification. In these electronic personals called online dating sites it is a free for all. The honor system is what you depend on there.

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On behalf of Tri-State Dating Service I wish all of you a happy New Year.  I wish all of you a productive year in 2012. Here are 150 New Year’s resolutions from John Holt, the matchmaker.

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Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays. There is always a certain feeling you get this time of year.  I will next say that for those that allow a feeling of enchantment, Christmas can be special.

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On behalf of Tri-State Dating Service I wish anyone who reads this and the many members a very meaningful holiday season. I have permeated the world of singles and dating over the last 20 years. I must say these are challenging times. Men and woman should use this season to rebuild trust to spread goodwill. My unique perspective about the current climate finds me writing to you in spirit. The spirit of the season should bring us all to think. It is time to heal from the toxic thinking. It is a time to celebrate. This season is special. I get into a different mood, one of Great Spirit. Please understand the ship must travel back on course next year. The expectations combined with anger over not achieving these expectations must be reviewed. I hope that humor reaches many of you. It is important to laugh, rejoice and enjoy each other. I hope that the spirit of the season finds you in good health retaining your dignified role in humanity. I am hoping your imaginations are bringing gifts to one another this year. The best gift is a wonderful relationship. The idea of a relationship breeds fear in many. I say that this year in this time as part of the spirit of the season is time for new development.

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I am not afraid to give out doses of reality. It seems most singles are frustrated with online dating websites. In general many singles are frustrated with dating. I will go further and point out that dating has become a lightning rod subject. Dating brings out raw human emotions otherwise kept in check. Those dating websites are not living up to what they were meant to be. If we lived in a perfect world the dating website would put you in touch with other singles fast. The people you would meet would be other than liars, cheats, thieves, predators, emotionally unstable and people you just don’t think are for you. It would have been perfect in a perfect world. I’m sorry, we don’t live in perfection. I know, here I go again. I don’t mind going here until many of you get it.

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Ladies and gentleman this is the single most important set of issues facing us in dating. Expectations in many cases are out of control. I read about this all the time. I deal with unrealistic expectations every week. I sometimes wonder where the origin of all this pie in the sky thinking comes from. The first statement I want woman to think about is, there are no good men out there. Why are we hearing this from woman? I am inclined to think that there must be some good men out there. I meet and sign up good men. I think what many woman are really saying is, there are no perfect men or men that are total packages. Ladies look at you on the inside and outside. I bet you’re not a total package. I bet you’re good for most men. I think you’re not perfect, so why should men be perfect? What can a matchmaker do if you restrict him to such a small segment of the population while you put pressure on him to work the miracle fast?  Here is my advice.

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In my usual profound opinion I can see nothing but success. I get up every day and see a goal. My goal is your success. We can’t blame the past relationships for your failure. It is time for all parties to be responsible. I think it is time to take a deep breath, spend a moment in reflection, and make a decision to go on dates with an open mind. I want all men and woman to treat each other better. I want you to open up to the bright future instead of creating your dim existence.

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In the singles industry there are many choices of service providers. These various services have relied on marketing to get the word out to prospective customers. Unfortunately many of these services choose symbolism over substance using slick marketing with packaging that looks good. These services fall far short of the fluffy picture they paint in your mind. Tri-State Dating Services offers substance. The brand of realistic matchmaking offers the truth about whom you are and who you can be with. It isn’t wrapped up in a pretty package with a neat little bow. The truth for many singles is not always what they want to hear. I think if you’re single you should ask yourself this. Why have I been failing to succeed in that relationship that for many years has eluded me? The idea that you’re too good for most people available to you is a problem that will never go away until you change your attitude and mindset. Chances are you have been ripped off by fluffy marketing tactics from online dating website providers or you fell prey to these ridiculous companies who try to charge you thousands of dollars after putting you through lengthy appointments where only after two hours of torture you get the mind blowing price of thousands of dollars, you nearly faint. The next thing that happens is you are subject to extreme, slick high pressure sales tactics. What kind of business practice is this? It was symbolism over substance. I say telling the truth is the best way to do business.Tri-State Dating Service is in its 20th year. John Holt professional matchmaker tells it like it is. I know there have been some people out there who think it is all about your look. It is to them, style points based on glitz and glitter. I know there are people who are quite critical about one little mistake on a website or you didn’t look slick in your advertising. I say this to all of you, haven’t you grown tired of deceptive, slick, symbolic advertising combined with sales tactics that are greasy to say the least? I further ask all single people if you’re tired of outrageous judgment being used by certain singles as to why they won’t date you. Did you get turned down because your e mail had a typo or the comma wasn’t in the right place? There are anal people out there. Stop and think about what in the grand scheme of anything romantic, value based or personality based it means. The decision to choose substance over symbolism is the right decision.

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Many times I hear feedback from people who went on dates and told me so much information. This information is used to apply scrutiny and analysis. Did you ever stop and wonder if you went to deep to fast? Did you ever wonder that all of life’s challenges are met in an imperfect way? I have seen many of you create litmus tests that are so intense that many a person could never succeed with you.

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Hi everyone, attraction is this mythical term defined by so many elusive thoughts inside each persons mind. Many of you have searched the world over for someone you find attractive. Many men these days define attraction by looks only. The superficial idea of attraction is alive and well with men. Wait a minute, isn’t that way of thinking shallow?

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