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Dating Blog

Tri-State Dating Service dating blog.

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A woman from Norwich C.T. who was a member of  Tri-State Dating Service called me on the phone and said the following.  “John, knowing you was interesting.  I didn’t like you in the beginning.  Your advice was disturbing to me.  As time marched on, I began to listen to you and today, I am getting married to a man I never would have dated had it not been for your advice and encouragement”.

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I will never forget the day when I was twenty six year’s old.  Here I was, out of college working two jobs at the time, and wondering if I would meet someone worthwhile for a relationship.  In college it was easy to meet women.  It was never a problem finding someone to date.  Now out of college on my own, college friends moved away, what next?   I decided to look up my high school friends who lived in my home town area only ninety minutes from me.  We did the night club thing for a little while, back then smoking was allowed in clubs.  One day I thought there must be a better way than to choke on smoke, listen to loud music, and trying to meet women, you couldn’t even hear what they were saying to you and worse.  It would drive me crazy talking at a high pitch so they could hear me.  I decided to open up the Yellow Pages, yes that’s right, the Yellow Pages, you remember them don’t you?  I let my fingers do the walking to a page that had the heading Dating Service.  I found a company in East Bridgewater M.A., made an appointment and joined the dating service.  My friends laughed at me.  I told them club life was no life.  I started meeting women two to three per month.  These dates were mostly good dates, and some were not.  I then met a woman who I dated for a while, but it was not meant to be.  I told her we would end up in divorce court if we got married.  She had a lot of changes in mind for me.  I didn’t see it happening.  I went on three dates in a row the following week that were not good.  I called the dating service and they told me about nine profiles.  I decided to pick out the ninth profile.  The ninth profile is my wife Karen; we are now married for twenty three years.  I didn’t care about my friends laughing at me when I joined a dating service.  I got to go out with people and found my wife.  It took a lot longer for my friends to get married and none of them ever met the women they married in a night club.  So, if I was afraid of the stigma of joining a dating service then I would not have met my wife.

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Rise and shine everyone!  Your future depends on it.  Why would the matchmaker want you to wake up?  You should wake up because, if you continue to sleep or much worse, slip into depression you will be less viable as a human being.  When you are less viable and depressed you cannot attract anyone.  I see all around me a subtle hysteria combined with the worst level of cynicism known to mankind.  The bottom line is that you should not allow the media to control your life. What is much worse is you must not allow the media to drive you out of the economy.  Small business depends on you the consumer.  I am grateful to all the consumers who use and have used my service since 1992.  I feel blessed every time I meet someone who signs up here.  I feel fortunate that they chose me as their matchmaker.  Many of the consumers of my service felt blessed as they ended up in a relationship.

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Once upon a time, way back in the beginning of mankind, the roles of both men and women were defined as the man going out of the cave each day and bringing home the food.  The man was the basic provider for his enclave.  The woman was the care taker of the cave.  For many years after that men were the primary breadwinners and women were home taking care of the house and children.  Slowly women evolved into the workforce and achieved high academic standing.  The economy forced us to have two salary households in order to maintain a certain standard of living.  In many cases it was a matter of survival to have two incomes.  As goods and services became more expensive this arrangement became a fact of life.   Feminism became an idea that was born into a movement.  The idea was born that women should be independent and can do most anything a man can do earning equal pay for the same job.  As a matter of fact there are more women earning higher degrees in school than men these days.  The evolution of societal roles has changed greatly.

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One woman from Wilton, C.T., recently told me that dating is a life sentence, even though she was once married before.  If you understand realistic matchmaking, I have a feeling you will be paroled from this dating life sentence.  Pointing you in the direction of realism will release you from deep frustration.  The biggest value to knowing me is the learning curve.  I am a powerful advisor.  Those that listened to me realized that dating is not an eternal pursuit.  There are many who won’t listen, they find themselves in the eternal pursuit.   If you like the chase, enjoy game playing, flirting just to see how good you are,  than be my guest.  Dating for you is a play and you are the central player.  If you are like the majority of single people you want and desire the game to end.

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More than I care to mention it I hear women tell me “I want a quality man”.  So what is that?  Sometimes I think no one really knows.  In my business value is everything.  I priced my service lower than thousands and thousands of dollars dating services.  They are out there.  Ever see the lawn signs in your town Single! Westportsingles.org or whatever town.org you live in.  When you go there it is a one page internet landing page for a company called e love otherwise known as right one otherwise known as Together dating service.  Once you fill out the form they get in touch with you not whatever town.org and they charge thousands of dollars to join.  So I ask you, is that value?  What did you get for the thousands of dollars?  I say those prices are crazy.  Just call me 800-252-6210 for quality service in C.T. R.I. M.A. and eastern N.Y. my prices are reasonable and you will see the value.  There are other companies out there trying to get thousands from you, run from them as fast as you can.

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Happiness is the name of life’s game.  We should all seek out as much as we can get.  In my business a happy person is a person who meets a lot of people.  The sour puss stays home.  The miserable one remains single.  I believe I am in the happily ever after business.  If everything goes well for you then you have a permanent happy relationship.

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Hi,  Roger Bouchard one of the owners of WNRI  radio station in Woonsocket R.I.,  where I broadcast my radio show Networking Singles, said  “ John Holt you are far too rational in a world that has far too many irrational people”.  I related to that statement.  It isn’t easy to be a realistic Matchmaker who thinks rationally.  I seek to educate as many single people as possible because the brand realistic matchmaking will help relieve dating frustration.

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At every turn there seems to be a lingering attitude of despair.  I say why is this a long lingering truth.  Could it be a result of the media?  It might be a result of this massively negative presidential election.  Whatever it is I suggest we change course and look toward a brighter future. A future where human relationships take place in larger numbers.  A place where we soften our attitudes about each other and begin to work toward success.  The kind of success where we participate in everyone’s wellbeing.

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I see many advertisements on television these days rolling out the same nonsense along with the same Cool Aid that many single people drink and fall prey to.  I ask is really your time?  If you are over Fifty year’s old you know what I am talking about.  Have you had the times of your life with that special someone from ourtime.com  did you men meet the beautiful women from those advertisements that are over Fifty?  Have you ladies met Mr. Right who dates age appropriate people?  I have been told of only one good experience from that website, instead what I am hearing about is the same old things I hear all the time about any online dating site.  None of it is good news.  I further think that it is time we all started understanding that predators, players, liars, cheats, thieves and con men reside in online dating.  Just Google online dating horror stories and see the volumes of pages come up with websites full of horror stories.

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Lately I feel like a United Nations negotiator.  It absolutely amazes me what men and women put me through. In this part of my twenty year business cycle I have never heard more excuses in my life.  I would like to think I am not dealing with children.

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Do you think it is more important than ever before those men and women understand proper relationships?  I say you better believe it.

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Is chemistry magic?  Can fairy tales come true?  Did the media hijack and corner the market on image?  All of these questions are correlated to our psyche.  The term wishful thinking is a product of the questions above.  The very effects that are verbal messages, the visual illusions in dating all interfere with an ability to associate with an associated systemic approach to success.

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Today I got an email from a member of mine who lives in Needham Mass.  He doesn’t like the negativity in dating.  Neither do I.  It is human nature for people to be negative.  The news programs with the best ratings are the ones that feed you negative stories and information.  I call it Chicken Little media.  The sky is always falling according to media.  If we as human beings are going to press forward in the future we must have a vision that includes purpose and the uplifting of all human beings on earth.

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If you are under 35 this article is just for you.  There is a growing number of single men and women of quality joining Tri-State Dating Service from 23-34.  Many of you are leaving online dating sites because of the utter frustration you are going through.  Online dating has not cured loneliness if anything it has created a deception that rank’s up there with some of the biggest con games in America.   At the rate things are going for many of you opening the door to any meaningful relationship might not happen until you’re 40.

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I am always delighted when reasonable thinking singles embrace realistic matchmaking.  This means they have found out that dreams, fairy tales and phony marketing from other dating services will not produce results.  Reasonable thinking single people have discovered that online dating sites are not going to help you meet anyone.  As a matter of fact these sites cause you to spend 12 hours a week communicating with people only to be frustrated in the lack of results.

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