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Dating Blog

Tri-State Dating Service dating blog.

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Recent blog posts

Have you pondered a lot these days?  Do you find yourself thinking how life became like it is?  You’re not alone my friends.  As a matter of fact if you’re looking out into the vast countryside you see a lot of confusion.  I see a lot of unhappy people and wonder why this is the case.  Everyone seems to want a meaningful relationship but can’t seem to get out of their own way to find one.

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It has long been a goal of mine to bring balance to how men and women view each other. It further is a goal of mine to persuade all of you that relationship building is the key to a more successful life.

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If there isn’t anything more compelling these days in matchmaking it is the idea of human attraction.  It is a very serious consideration.  The fact is many men and women these days do not find each other attractive. The pool of available people to date and relate to is limited by too many self-imposed criteria.

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Today we are faced with higher than ever gasoline prices. This makes everyday choices about spending money more difficult. In discretionary spending you must establish value. A bigger problem is that higher payroll taxes have added to the problem.  These economic times create uncertainty.  In dating there must be a value.  It isn’t just going out on dates; it is the quality of dates which would lead to a real connection. At Tri-State Dating Service forty five percent of all members have found real connections of six months or longer. If you pay lower prices and achieve this value then you made an investment that brings positive value.  There is no real monetary value to a great relationship.  I have heard my clients tell me they would pay anything if they ended up in a permanent relationship.  If you read this and it makes sense then join my service.  This is a more sensible approach to the complexity of relationship building than being left on your own in front of a computer screen in utter and complete frustration.

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Forget what any fast buck artist in the singles industry is telling you about fast results in dating.  If you haven’t been taken advantage of yet consider yourself lucky.  I know all the online dating site companies illustrate how beautiful it is all about to become in minutes.  Just log on they say, join for free they say.  Did you know by now it is the biggest bait and switch routine in the dating business?  Yes, you get to join for free, no; you cannot meet or contact anyone until you pay the fees.  At my own personal peril I created the brand of Tri-State Dating Service which is realistic matchmaking.  This means knowing who you are and who you can be with.  I become popular with those that succeed in this idea.  I am unpopular with elitists who think they are better than anyone else and in a delusional way chase people they will never end up with. When you don’t end up with anyone you fail to grow. How can you reach fulfillment in life without viable relationships?  Dating is a process that takes time.  I realize the massive sense of urgency in dating.  This is called dating anxiety, when you want to meet someone and it can’t happen fast enough.  The dishonest people in the singles industry understand this and sell you fast, quick fixes.  What happens next is you pay sums of money chasing quick fixes and the next thing you know you are single spending a lot of money for five to ten years.  Do you know why I do a great second and third choice business?  It is because I tell the truth and the truth is not what the anxious want to hear.  How many of you fell prey to the online dating site television commercials? Do the people on those websites look like those actors and actresses used in those commercials?  Maybe you paid thousands of dollars to a dating service and they had no one for you and hardly ever called you.  Who would pay that kind of money? I know they told you everything you wanted to hear and promised in day’s success would happen.  My prices are in the hundreds and my service has been around since 1992.  I apologize right now.  I can’t make the outrageous claims these other companies are making.  I can tell you this, unless you are realistic with your expectations, willing to accept at least half of the dating pool available to you, become self-aware so you can have personal growth with someone, find interpersonal relationships rewarding, possess an attractive fun attitude and understand that dating is a process that has all to do with timing, you will fail chasing dreams.  I know many of you are frustrated.  Now you see this and maybe the reaction will be, oh my god who does he think he is?  I am a professional matchmaker with twenty plus years of experience.  After you calm down ask yourself if any of the lofty promises made to you from other operators ever amounted to any result.  Look at me as a way out of pie in the sky and a way into reality.  Truth and reality isn’t sexy, it isn’t fairy tales it’s simply truth and reality which like it or not we live in every day.

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The matchmaking business is a place where single people who are serious about finding someone can form a strategy.  The strategy isn’t always exactly what you thought of.  The grandest of plans of meeting the one come crashing down after you have been single for the better part of a decade.  This is stagnation in dating combined with denial. My purpose in life and business is to solve your dating problems.  Solving problems begins with getting you to become realistic.  Expectations that are unrealistic will get you frustrated and keep you single and alone for five, ten, fifteen years or maybe forever.  So a sustainable strategy begins with self-awareness.  Do an assessment of your dating life.  Take a deep look into why you have not had success.  If you are then willing to change it then contact me. We will become great partners in the social-sector.  The recovery from dating failure starts here.

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Perhaps a lofty title for this one.  I have a tremendous insight.  In fact, anyone that is really serious about reality based dating will sign up for my service.

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Hi everyone, it is my goal to try as best I can to explain dating, help build relationships.  I further want to bring fun back into dating.  It continues to amaze me the level of intensity that exists in dating.  The scrutinization is fierce.  In many cases I wonder how any of pass the tests you put each other through.  This article suggests and will provide some very interesting information about dating and relationship building.

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It has been said in numerous situations in our lives that having spirit is attractive.  Having spirit is moving and powerful.  I have a spirit which cannot be shaken.  My mission is bringing people together through realistic matchmaking.  I awaken everyday with this spirit.  No negative miserable human being on earth can shake my spirit.  I will win in the end as spirit guides me and those that will follow me.  So do you want to win the dating game or lose it?

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Acceptance is what all single people hope for.  We all want to be liked.  As a matter of fact I keep advising men and women that dating should be fun.  Dating should be about a lot of smiles, laughter, enjoying a person’s company, flirting, playfulness and a lot of fun activities.  The major intensity and the past bad relationships should be history.  Men and women living together in harmonious atmosphere.  Both sexes feeling valued and wanted.  The time has come to embrace a less intense attitude and realize there are no perfect people however there is a plethora of fun viable interesting people if you approach them in the likeability zone.  What is that you ask?   This is the place where small talk fun bantering generous benevolent behavior wins the day and replaces the vicious games that are all too prevalent these days.  It ends the manipulations and brings on consensus building.  It means men and women respect each other and trust each other.  The issues that should matter are fun, liking someone, connecting with them and enjoying each other.  If you adopt this way of thinking you have a fair chance in dating.

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In today’s world, a positive attitude is everything when you are meeting people. Find a way to rid negative toxic people from your life. It is true that the stress of this world we live in has taken its toll. We need a fun positive diversion in our personal lives.  If we adopt a fun positive attitude, it will make us attractive to more people, producing more dates, and cutting down on the endless search to begin a meaningful relationship.

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Hi everyone, here is some great news about being single.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.  Fifty one percent of all adults are single.  Wow, why is the matchmaker telling us it is okay?  My basis for that is that your happiness is more important.  When you are happy you will attract people.

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If you are in business and you can see no farther than today you will likely have survival issues. I can clearly see the future of dating and relationship building.  If you either don’t understand or refuse to understand where we are these days you will struggle mightily.

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Why has Matchmaking survived? Because you cannot replace intuition, insight, reality and evaluation skills.  Online dating has failed the majority of the people who use it.  Most of you went online with dating because it appeared to be easy and you thought it was inexpensive.  What price are you placing on finding the right person these days?

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A woman from Norwich C.T. who was a member of  Tri-State Dating Service called me on the phone and said the following.  “John, knowing you was interesting.  I didn’t like you in the beginning.  Your advice was disturbing to me.  As time marched on, I began to listen to you and today, I am getting married to a man I never would have dated had it not been for your advice and encouragement”.

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Posted by

I will never forget the day when I was twenty six year’s old.  Here I was, out of college working two jobs at the time, and wondering if I would meet someone worthwhile for a relationship.  In college it was easy to meet women.  It was never a problem finding someone to date.  Now out of college on my own, college friends moved away, what next?   I decided to look up my high school friends who lived in my home town area only ninety minutes from me.  We did the night club thing for a little while, back then smoking was allowed in clubs.  One day I thought there must be a better way than to choke on smoke, listen to loud music, and trying to meet women, you couldn’t even hear what they were saying to you and worse.  It would drive me crazy talking at a high pitch so they could hear me.  I decided to open up the Yellow Pages, yes that’s right, the Yellow Pages, you remember them don’t you?  I let my fingers do the walking to a page that had the heading Dating Service.  I found a company in East Bridgewater M.A., made an appointment and joined the dating service.  My friends laughed at me.  I told them club life was no life.  I started meeting women two to three per month.  These dates were mostly good dates, and some were not.  I then met a woman who I dated for a while, but it was not meant to be.  I told her we would end up in divorce court if we got married.  She had a lot of changes in mind for me.  I didn’t see it happening.  I went on three dates in a row the following week that were not good.  I called the dating service and they told me about nine profiles.  I decided to pick out the ninth profile.  The ninth profile is my wife Karen; we are now married for twenty three years.  I didn’t care about my friends laughing at me when I joined a dating service.  I got to go out with people and found my wife.  It took a lot longer for my friends to get married and none of them ever met the women they married in a night club.  So, if I was afraid of the stigma of joining a dating service then I would not have met my wife.

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Rise and shine everyone!  Your future depends on it.  Why would the matchmaker want you to wake up?  You should wake up because, if you continue to sleep or much worse, slip into depression you will be less viable as a human being.  When you are less viable and depressed you cannot attract anyone.  I see all around me a subtle hysteria combined with the worst level of cynicism known to mankind.  The bottom line is that you should not allow the media to control your life. What is much worse is you must not allow the media to drive you out of the economy.  Small business depends on you the consumer.  I am grateful to all the consumers who use and have used my service since 1992.  I feel blessed every time I meet someone who signs up here.  I feel fortunate that they chose me as their matchmaker.  Many of the consumers of my service felt blessed as they ended up in a relationship.

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