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Think of it this Way

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Have you pondered a lot these days?  Do you find yourself thinking how life became like it is?  You’re not alone my friends.  As a matter of fact if you’re looking out into the vast countryside you see a lot of confusion.  I see a lot of unhappy people and wonder why this is the case.  Everyone seems to want a meaningful relationship but can’t seem to get out of their own way to find one.

Let’s talk about attraction, it seems magic is part of many singles definitions of attraction.  You know, that unexplainable feeling you get when you meet the magical one.  That is the problem, magical men and women don’t exist.  I hope you’re not upset I told you.  What if I told you attraction is where the mind connects with the heart and decisions are made to pursue knowing someone based on the feeling.  No withdrawing from each other just full steam ahead.  The very desire that all of you aspire to.  It finally means you put all the negative stereotypes away, fears and emotions are not overruling the mind.  It all becomes great.

So what if the battle of the sexes controls you?  Do you compete against the opposite sex driving a big wedge between you?  Nurturing is how a relationship develops not competition.    Today’s perception is in overdrive.  It seems many of you perceive your way out of great possibilities.  Could you be your worst enemy?  How many times did you rush to judgment about someone only to find out later you were hasty.  Stereotyping is dangerous in deciding who to get to know.  Did interpersonal conflict replace dating?  Can you get along with the opposite sex?  Is it time to change course in attitude?

In today’s realistic world we must understand what is really going on here.  Time to face the reality of men and women and discover the best side of each person you come in contact with.  Start thinking that people can be good and interesting.  If you are single, fear these days can paralyze you.  If you have any idea of romance in your future you have to stop throwing people away.  Can you move away from the single life in progress toward a relationship or is dating the road to abject failure?  Is failure too familiar to you?  It’s time to climb out of the rut you developed for yourself, it is how you think.  I want you to think.  The first thing you do is survey the past few single years of your life.  Determine what you want in life and how to go about meeting the people you will connect to in order to attain life’s goal.  A new direction toward relationship building not apprehension.  You just can’t get out of your own way can you?  I’m not a wise guy you know.  I am a realistic matchmaker with over twenty years’ experience.  I challenge you to think.  Make an undertaking to put some effort into your love life.  Can I challenge you to accept people and learn about them over time?  Just decide to think then act on it.  Be successful.

If you decide to end pessimistic thinking and use your cognitive skills you can win in dating.  If you are arguing with yourself over taking steps to meet more people then you will remain single.  Change your fundamental belief system to optimism.  Get rid of the habitual idea that all members of the opposite sex are bad.  Put an end to the internal critic in your mind.  Dating is not a dramatic catastrophe.  Stop overreacting to people. Take a thought process over time approach to people.  Consider the implications of the way you think.

If you wonder if you have idealistic goals about who you want to meet then join the epidemic.  You can’t find anyone good because idealism is not reality.  No matter how much you want to believe it you can’t find in idealism a lifelong partner, sorry here I go again with the reality stuff.

Why do you feel so strongly about bashing the opposite sex?  Is the dating game so venomous it quite likely hurts you deeply?  Please think about the following.  Dating produces intrinsic attraction. Dating develops a sense for desire.  Dating teaches us about how we interact with one another.  Dating can offer variety with a happy ending in the way of permanent bliss.  Dating brings people together who enjoy life’s activities in a fun way.  Dating helps us face life’s realities together with someone instead of alone.  Dating creates intimacy leading to commitment.

So are you thinking?  Is the single life a forever thing you created by accident in your mind?  Do you feel desperation instead of having control of yourself?  Can you learn about yourself?

Do you have that secret button inside your mind that will make dating effortless?  Can you get what you want because your mind is in the right place?

You are in the right place when you feel like a special chosen one.  You feel safe with members of the opposite sex.  You learn to love unconditionally. You aspire to commit to someone.  You look forward to affection.  You feel understood.  You are appreciated.  You know you’re attractive.  You encourage the person you meet.  You believe those you meet have unique potential.  You know respect because you are respectful.  You encourage reality.

Did you start to think?  I hope so!


John Holt