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The Key to Living Life

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In this world full of drama it seems as though we need to take a deep breath and think about life.  Is your goal one that allows you to have social connectivity?  Do you view social contact as being as valuable as monetary gain?  Do you survive better when you are in a meaningful long term relationship with a significant member of the opposite sex?  Is dating a fun activity filled with flirtation, smiling and learning about someone?  Do you have the attitude that allows enrichment in life by being associated and connected to other people?  If these things are important to you then you may have a better life which is full.  A life where there is less depression, limited despair and connections with people who allow you to flourish as a human being.

I have seen enough to know that stress and anger is destroying this country.  Further I see a lack of caring about other human beings as detrimental to the wellbeing of all of us.   In my job as your matchmaker I see so much potential going by the wayside because of damaging relationships from the past.  My road to the future is your key to life. Let us start with perspective.  If we decide to seek out and connect with people with moral and ethical values our value systems are compatible.  If we can find those likeminded people to connect with we have a strong social network based on similar values.  We will flourish in life and support each other if we assimilate to the ethical, moral and likeminded value systems that we ourselves believe in.  The idea of seeking those people out will enhance our positive outlook.  When our social experiences are positive and connective we are compatible.  Never mind chasing those that do not view values the same as you do.

Another key to living life is cognitive connection.  The cerebral human needs another cerebral human to enrich intellect.  Intelligence craves intelligence.  If you are intelligent you flourish in life by connecting with an intelligent being.  We cannot live a narrow life and understand how to flourish in today’s complex social world.  It takes intelligence.

Spending our daily lives among friends, family, co-workers, and social acquaintances will provide opportunity to live life well.  Living life well depends on understanding the complex big picture.  We live in a far more complex and dramatic world of relationships.  We make relationships more complicated than they should be.  Giving you the social framework for understanding human complexity is no easy task.  I talk to my clients daily about the social aspect of human behavior to help them understand why we arrived at behavior that is in many ways inappropriate or simply destructive to the building of a lifetime relationship.  If you as a human being take the time to understand the social world you live in and assimilate to your place in it you will succeed in living life in a brighter way.  I personally see the advantages to playing on numerous sports teams even at my age with people who we derive social connection in that pursuit.  It is however about the effort made to care about who you talk to.  For instance I play in a co-ed volleyball league at a place in RI that has an outdoor sand court, it also has a big screen TV a pool and a fireplace.  A bar and restaurant inside.  Last night I saw one of my clients who play in this league out by the fireplace with someone I had played volleyball with for the last two years.  I took the time prior to my match to be social and to show interest in the lives of these two people.  I further connected with my team and talked and laughed, it is connection.  Positive human connection giving me a pleasant outlook.  It can be a mood changer to be associated with people socially.   This is a key to life.  Social experiences lead to meaningful relationships of all kinds from acquaintances, friendships, dating and long term committed relationships.  It takes insightful people to live life like this.   The insight is seeing value in relational connection.  We build the wall of life by adding people socially to our lives.  Please wrap your mind around my idea in this article and decide to identify and meet those that will enhance your life.  If I can make your life better I will try as your matchmaker.  Come to matchmaking with the idea of this article in your mind.

In your inner life you process our society.  In processing today’s toxic society you must decide to change the inner circle and invite others into a life living philosophy, the alternative is despair, negativity, destruction and social isolation.  Society became toxic the individual can change this by spreading good attitude about social interaction.

I ask you all to think about this.  Has the culture of the United States of America changed to the point where building relationships is scary and more difficult?  Has our culture fostered negativity and mistrust in humans? Because trust is at an all-time low is it difficult to step out of this mindset and assimilate to my living life idea?  In fact, knowing half of all relationships fail among men and women hasn’t caused you to think about living life better?  The fabric of society is broken and it now means that you the individual must change the pursuit of life by living to develop social capital.  Social capital means acquiring friends, social group assimilation promoting likeminded values.

Do we care enough about people to decide to be selfless and enhance their relationships?

If as a people we have become impulsive, self-centered and feeling only instant gratification then we miss life’s meaning.

We need to live life by applying personal and social insight to making life better.  Wow, we have a 50% chance of getting divorced and all the destruction to humanity that comes with that.  Can we do better?

In conclusion, moving beyond selfish personal experience and into relational personal experience is how living life should be.


John Holt