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The Current State of the Dating Industry

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In our time 2013 we must pause for a moment to take a look at where the business of dating and single’s is heading.  Our country is in moral decay.  So why would we think that anything related to dating and relationships is in decay.  The major issue affecting all of dating these days is bad behavior.  Adults need to date like adults.  The children being raised must be raised to learn the right way of how to treat people.  Men and women must come to a conclusion that treating each other with respect as opposed to disdain is the right course.

So what is the biggest disgrace to dating these days?  It is the online dating industry.  An industry that has attracted over the last decade a huge amount of users to their websites.  The online dating industry has shown all of us that anyone may use their websites and they care nothing about what happens to anyone or even if you ever meet anyone. They are run by people who have no other interest but to make money and they care nothing about your wellbeing.  Just pay the subscriptions and that’s that. Do you know the stories about people who had been harmed by criminals, who went to online dating sites, just go to your search engine and type any type of harmful criminal activity and put from meeting people on online dating sites and then read the stories?  Did you ever have your credit card charged over and over after cancelling your subscription?  There are thousands if not millions of such complaints on consumer websites about this. Did you know how many fake profiles have been posted on these websites by the operators and their staff? Anywhere from 30-60%. These people from Silicon Valley and every other computer think tank could care little or nothing about human development or matching people.  I ran into many of these people recently on social media.  These shills for the promotion of online dating will say anything including the false use of science to deceive you into using their sites.  I tried to offer the alternative point of view and my character was assassinated. They slung their mud at me because they have no good argument to support online dating. I kept coming at them with the facts and they kept slinging the mud.  I always knew I was winning an argument when the other side resorted to name calling.  The fact is I quoted my sources and stuck to the facts and they can’t handle the truth and much worse anyone who defies them will be attacked for his/her opinion.  Chances are if you are reading this you know what has happened for you on online dating sites.  To be fair it works for about 13% of those that use it. The rest of you have stories all too numerous to tell me.  I am amazed at these stories and the amount of them. I am further amazed at the number of scams, fraud, personal abuse, liars, conmen and women and dangerously mentally ill people are on these sites. Yet the people from this industry wish to sweep it all under the rug and ignore it all.  Some states are introducing legislation to clean up the background checks or for sites to post they won’t check out people using their sites.  Bottom line it is about money and you represent nothing but money to them.  I ask you, do you think someone should care about you?

The very idea that the dating industry should care about you is and has escaped many of these sales and marketing people who call themselves experts in dating.  Did you know most people running dating services know nothing about human development, psychology, relationship issues and human behavior?  They came from sales and marketing jobs with one idea, to sell you services they know little or nothing about providing to you.  Ask me what I know I will tell you. Call me 800-252-6210 and I will prove to you what I know.

There are numerous people out there calling themselves dating experts.  I would say 40% of them are competent to provide advice to you.  The rest have figured out gimmicks to steal your money.  They come up with cute seminars, tapes, cds, internet programs and books to sell to you and all they succeed in doing is messing up your mind.

What can I advise you to do?  Understand there is no magic panacea or quick fix, sorry I know the conmen and women want you to believe them. It is a fact; they will clean you out of whatever money you will pay them because they know you are at a vulnerable moment in time. They know what to say and dress it all up to look good.  The end result, you spent money and remained single, you became even more confused by the deception and cannot figure out what is the reality.

Ladies did you know there is a pick up artist community?  They organize groups, some of them through meet up.  These men are taught techniques on how to deceive you into sex and anything else they want.  If the men are trained right they become pick up artists getting everything they want from women.  No wonder women have trouble trusting men. If you’re a good man please don’t be offended by that statement.

So what kind of world do we have?  A world where anything goes A world where dashing the feelings of who you are in a relationship with on the rocks doesn’t matter.  A world where we throw away those we are in relationships with because you are now mentally conditioned to believe there is another one better out there.  Treating people like yesterday’s trash is damaging to their psychological wellbeing.  So you move on and on and on. Isn’t this what online dating has provided and conditioned you to think?  Isn’t it now about getting what you can?  Take and take more then leave them.  In the dating industry it is known what to say to get you to pay for this.  Some us refuse to act in bad business ethics we get attacked and smeared if we stand up for good ethics.

Building a trusted business relationship is what we need to do instead of selling snake oil.  The very word trust these days is at an all-time low.  No wonder people are concerned and fearful about who to trust.  Today’s dating industry suffers greatly from lack of trust by consumers.  If we do not turn this around soon we will have huge problems going forward.  It all starts with telling singles about reality and the truth.  We need not sell them pie in the sky.  When we sell them pie in the sky we get a bad reputation.

Dating in year 2013 is painful, awkward, expensive, and the dating industry needs to deal with why and offer solutions.  I have dealt with and understood the painful transition singles make to the dating scene from divorce, the death of a spouse or transitioning from online dating horror to matchmaking.  There is a lot of psychological damage to deal with.

In the dating industry I ask, do you really want to deal with customer expectations?  Do you know the service intensifiers?  Do practitioners understand a human beings personal needs?  Can you as a Matchmaker or site operator deal with false expectations or unrealistic expectations?  Some matchmakers I know are stressed out over dealing with issues they have no training to deal with.  They just thought you collected money and threw everyone at each other.  We aren’t a band of gypsies we are professionals so in year 2013 we must start to offer solutions, solid matchmaking and the truth.  The real truth is that this is a timing game. People must be educated that quick fixes are bunk.

If we see to many problems with service delivery due to heightened expectations what should we do?  I refuse to allow Tri-State Dating Service to market false hope to singles.  Heightened expectations built falsely through deceptive marketing practices gives us angry consumers who mistrust.

The alternative that will work in the singles industry is the one that provides truth, education, skills and viable matching. The gimmick stuff fools people then makes them angry and distrustful.

Customer service in the singles industry is very poor.  Ask any single person.  Customers also have high unrealistic expectations and singles business professionals should refuse them as customers or work with them to change expectations. Feedback from customers is welcome here at Tri-State Dating Service and is met with honest assessment.  We cannot allow false hope to enter into the business arrangement.

Let us all get back to the roots of a process that builds relationships helps people identify who they can attract.   Let’s get away from sneaky marketing.

The brand here at Tri-State Dating Service is realistic matchmaking.  It can be difficult to swallow for some to be realistic.  The truth is real the sneaky marketing is deceptive.  What choice will we all make?  I know my acquaintances in the online dating industry can throw more mud at me.  When I sleep at night I don’t worry about how I dealt with people. There is no conscience in online dating.

Building the tree of a business is important.  I suggest the entire singles industry look at the future.  Do you think we have the constant energy to move in the right direction or continue to do the wrong thing just for a buck.


John Holt