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Moving Forward

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The matchmaking business is a place where single people who are serious about finding someone can form a strategy.  The strategy isn’t always exactly what you thought of.  The grandest of plans of meeting the one come crashing down after you have been single for the better part of a decade.  This is stagnation in dating combined with denial. My purpose in life and business is to solve your dating problems.  Solving problems begins with getting you to become realistic.  Expectations that are unrealistic will get you frustrated and keep you single and alone for five, ten, fifteen years or maybe forever.  So a sustainable strategy begins with self-awareness.  Do an assessment of your dating life.  Take a deep look into why you have not had success.  If you are then willing to change it then contact me. We will become great partners in the social-sector.  The recovery from dating failure starts here.

Instead of feeling inadequate I will boost your confidence.  You will experience personal growth and recover from failed ideas.

If you embrace the idea that my business is here to help you find people while changing the attitude of what dating is we together will make a difference.  If you fight change and refuse to become self-aware you lose in the dating game and I want you to win.  A matchmaker is solving human needs for connection.  No one will deny that biologically men and women are pre-disposed to connect with each other.   Human personal growth is the ticket to getting into a relationship that works.  Attraction and stimulation are learned behaviors for many and natural behaviors for others.  I must caution all of you.  Dating is not fast food service. There are no miracles and no quick fixes.  Dating and relationship building is a process.  It isn’t accelerated.  Building a relationship is work.  It doesn’t happen overnight.

Strategy is the focus of matchmaking.  What a matchmaker does is develop a strategy that will give you a chance to meet people who you are likely going to like, be compatible with and have chance to succeed with.  You can be attracted all you want to people if you are not a compliment to them you will fail over and over again.  If you keep chasing them because they look great they will turn you down over and over again.  You will then get frustrated and remain single until you break the cycle.  This is stagnation not moving forward.  Moving forward is to realize who you are and who is attracted to you.  Moving forward is identifying the people that want to be with you.

Here is a true Tri-State Dating story.  I called this man middle of the road Frank who at the time was from Quincy MA.  He knew he was an average middle class middle of the road kind of guy.  He never got delusional about dating the top twenty five percent.  He bought a package from me to meet ten women individually.  He dated every one of them multiple times and for different periods of time.  He then bought another package of ten from me.  The sixth one he met was the one he ended up with permanently.  He understood who he was and who he could be with.  I know, some of the women reading this will say this is settling and of course they will say they won’t settle.  Unfortunately not settling means live alone for life.  If you like the single life permanently then don’t settle.  Now you saw me mention that Frank was middle of the road, average guy.  The middle of any bell curve in statistics has the largest concentration.  In dating it is where most people are.  It is what you men refer to as dating fours, fives and sixes. Ladies I value you more than this number system ,so don’t get upset. I have elaborate ways to describe you in a very flattering way.  Moving forward is common sense in understanding our image.  We project an image.  Like it or not our image defines us in dating.  We can’t recreate the core of who you are as a human being.

The client at Tri-State Dating Service must know I am here for them however must be prepared to move forward and discard failed strategy.  Year in and year out it takes strategy to move forward.  I’m not a rescue squad or a miracle worker.  If you fight me you lose the dating game if you embrace me you win and it isn’t easy.  This isn’t greasy pie in the sky marketing.  This is embrace the truth and reality to move forward.

I provide the knowledge base for you to have a leg up on the competition in the dating pool.  The bottom line is dating sustainability until you click.  If you fail three times and run for your life from dating that is retreat strategy and not moving forward.  Do you want win-win situations?  If you attain it you will have been matched successfully.  This comes with having great attitude.  I am innovative somewhat unorthodox.  I understand attraction and personality matching better than most people.  I know types that fit well.  If you embrace me you will gain a friend.  Many members here are on friendly terms with me.  I will care about what you say even if I disagree with it.  If you fight reality you will not get along here and you will fail in the dating game.  Forward thinking is all about attitude, communication, understanding, acceptance of at least half the opposite sex.

Helping you move forward is success and Tri-State Dating Service is about success, no room for failure here.  Success is critical to matchmaking.

The supply of great single people who are compatible with great attitude is dwindling.  Moving forward means change in a mindset from negative to positive.  Moving forward means that men and women must embrace trust and liking each other again.  A strategy to move forward is to simply try to learn over a ninety day period to like each other not throwaway people after fifteen minutes of coffee.  There isn’t an endless supply of the right people however there still may be more than you think.

I will guide you, mentor you in dating, provide assistance in strategy and manage the process for moving forward in the path to success.

I will inform, educate and tweak the expectations so you will succeed.

Do you want to move forward or remain stagnant?


John Holt