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Matchmaking Business in 2016

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I thought I would take the time to write about   the Matchmaking Business as it is currently functioning.  My role has changed a great deal in 24 years.  Now more than ever there is a vast amount of ideas about how single people define themselves and go about dating.   The truth is that learned behavior on online dating sites and apps. Has caused a new socially accepted way that people deal with one another.  Matchmakers have to help singles deprogram themselves from this behavior and re-think how they interact more successfully in order to date for success.  In online dating and apps. Very small amounts of people are successful.  What most people experience are miscommunication problems that keep men and women away from one another.  This further breeds skepticism, mistrust and perceptions that really have no bearing on who the people are or what kind of person they are,  As the internet becomes a daily adventure for most people it still remains the wild wild west of dating.   It should come as no surprise that through vast research I have formed conclusions about how online dating is destroying dating. 

Matchmaking is a process where you have a professional who understands that how you live your life is the basis for who you will attract and have in your life.  Make no mistake about this, psychological aspects, personality aspects, social behavior, ability to communicate and values based matching are at the forefront real good Matchmaking.  Matchmaking takes into account how you socialize with people in order to help you do better when you really actually have to be face to face with other people.  Yes in Matchmaking you have to be face to face with your match and communicate effectively without any devices.  The behavior the people came with from online dating causes all kinds of problems with effective communication. It is easy to hide behind your device and never come out of the virtual world to the real world.  A good Matchmaker knows how to get you to the face to face meeting.  The best example came when in the middle of July right up to this very day I decided to arrange all the in person meetings with clients who accepted each other as matches.  I eliminated the phone tag, the e mail quicksand, the endless mindless texting with all the self -sabotaging behaviors of avoidance. Yes I sent everyone on blind dates. Guess what?  The vast majority of my clients like this way of doing things.  Even better Tri-state dating service now has numerous clients from the last eight weeks dating one another exclusively.  Isn’t this what we want?  This is what Matchmaking is in 2016. 

My job as Matchmaker is to rid you of the impoverished and sterile form of communication you were conditioned into participating in.  I have instead promoted face to face interactions and help people be effective in doing that.

Dating must return to being fun and simple as opposed to deceptive and controlling.  We have to learn that baby steps in getting to know one another is far less intimidating and a relaxed person is a better person.  Simplify the dating process is what Matchmakers do in year 2016.

Eliminate loneliness and depression from online behavior and replace it with hope and skills on how to really interact so that you can get close to someone someday sooner than later.

The ever present concern of false expectations is still a daunting task for a Matchmaker to deal with. The Matchmaker must get you to understand that media images and false ideas about who you can attract will lead you to failure.  Why would anyone want to be dateless with no real prospects?  Most people aspire to reach a level of person that is unattainable which then leads to frustration followed by bitterness and depression.  People of all kinds belong with certain people.  The faster a Matchmaker convinces people with unrealistic expectations to change course the sooner success takes place.  A good Matchmaker helps you find your niche and helps you prosper inside it.  Delusions of grandeur in dating are equal to long term failure.

In the case of Tri-state dating service the brand realistic matchmaking is the signature philosophy founded in truth and common sense about dating.  Know who you are and who you attract. The brand saves you many years of single frustration.   Matchmakers can eliminate dating frustration. Matchmakers these days spend a great amount of time guiding clients to choose success path instead of frustration leading to failure.

Today’s Matchmaker helps you with your emotional map.  Matchmakers seek to help you from constantly seeking unconditional possibilities by making the same mistakes over and over again. A good Matchmaker helps you choose better people if you have failed at picking them yourself.

Matchmakers in 2016 are faced with dealing with single persons unconscious which is wired to seek unfulfilling relationships instead of getting into a relationship that fulfills emotional needs.

Matchmakers today must deal with a great deal of single people who left bad relationships. Strained previous relationships breed dysfunctional future relationships.  A good Matchmaker helps people break the pattern.

Rejection is rampant in dating. The more people get selective the worse it is, a Matchmaker must inspire people to go on looking.  Rejection is happening to everyone. A good Matchmaker builds your confidence to learn and move on from rejection.

Matchmakers help you deal with the perception you have based on irrational fear.  Eliminate the fear and you will be confident. When you are confident you attract people.

Matchmakers are truly valuable in year 2016.


John Holt