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Dating In 2014 Involving Men

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Hi everyone, today I sit here as a professional Matchmaker concerned with how we move forward with men.  I am a man.  I think women are just fine in many ways. I see the good in everyone yet the men are in this crisis of identity.  Recently I presented three profiles to a man who claims to be attracted to healthy physically fit women.  He then decides to defer to pictures which tell me something different.  Even though I offered him slender athletic women who are otherwise wonderful people who have all the characteristics he asks for he runs from being interested in meeting them.  I bet if you are a woman reading this you are shaking your head.  I think you must be thinking, who does this man think he is.  I ask any man reading this to think about joining this service if in fact he wants to meet decent women who are attractive. No they aren’t Hollywood actress looking women.  Let’s get a grip on reality.  They are my idea of viable women to date.

A wiser male member of my service told me “Expectation is failure waiting to happen” deliberate over what I just wrote.  The implication today is high expectations for both men and women have gone awry. 

I am determined to solve the male issues these days.  Is there a basis for a national discussion in the dating industry and the singles community about how we get back to real relationship building? What must be ever so important is the substance of human beings.  Attraction is part of the equation.  However when it becomes all the equation we then lost our way.

Let’s get real; no one will ever love you if you don’t understand who you are.  If you think that picture shopping for women is all there is to dating you will miss any real connection.  I hope men feel something deep inside or has it become so visual that it makes no sense any longer.  Sharing your life with a good person has a great value to your psychological wellbeing.

A note to women, ask yourself why you didn’t settle for Mr. Good enough.  He was out here in larger numbers for years.  He ran away from dating because many of you told him he didn’t make the grade.  So now you might be wondering as I know you are where the men are.  I know the battle cry.  We won’t settle, this is what many women said consistently.  Guess what, men got what you were saying. They lost confidence and left the hunt.

There are no perfect human beings. It isn’t about looks. Picture shopping is foolish. Online dating has destroyed dating because it caters to picture shopping men.  Then the basis for it becomes a candy store rather than a place to go and meet someone who you leave the site behind and date exclusively.

Yes all the research shows that we have a pickier dating pool than ever before.  Women looking for power, charisma and status and men just looking at pictures with an unhealthy obsession with looks.

In conclusion, self-awareness is the key. Only the beautiful people date the beautiful people! Don’t we all deserve a better embrace with reality?

John Holt