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Dating Identity

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In my dream world all men and women would seek to connect on a deeper level of understanding.  Wow, am I dreaming ladies and gentleman?

My days are spent dissecting interpersonal behavior patterns to discern what in the world is really going on in today’s world of dating.  My job is to establish your status in dating and connect you with someone on the same level as you.  In many ways I find complications that in fact are a sign of the times we live in.  Can all you be attractive prospects?  You bet you can.  I discover potential.  My bigger task is to get other single daters to see what I see.  The reason why I am matchmaker is because I can identify potential and place people in the sphere of success.  The problem is that many men and women are too confused about where their success curve is, so instead they reside in dating circles where they will fail.  A man who listens to my radio show Networking Singles who now wants to join my service told me I made sense to him in the last two years of listening.  I assessed his level of realism.  He passed my assessment.  I know many of you stay away from me because you think I will get too deep into your stuff.  If I do it may result in success.

Do any of you reading this understand your social identity?  How does social identity correlate with dating identity?  It is all about awareness.  Do you know what they say about you after the one and done date?  I give you the feedback.  I do it with a level of care. I’m not afraid to help you see the truth.  So where do you feel you are best categorized?  Did you know that 90% of daters don’t know where they belong and who they belong with, why, because self-awareness is absent and worse it is avoided. If all of you are chasing perfect men and women images then you must be perfect.  No one is perfect, right.

There are competencies that a matchmaker like me must look into to delve into the details of human behavior.  Human behavior and attitude are the two major concerns in dating identity.  How men and women behave with each other and toward each other has all to do with dating success.  It is attitude that is the driving force.  Behaving badly or negatively toward each other can only lead to failure. The battle of the sexes is alive thanks to the media who created it.  How can men and women be pitted against each other and enter loving relationships at the same time?  It isn’t possible.  Have women heard lately the need men for nothing? The media is telling you this.  Your dating identity becomes nullified when you think this way.  Men, have you been brainwashed with visual images of beautiful women that make up only 5% of the female population?  This idea is getting worse by the month.  If you choose to have a dating identity you must first decide that women have deeper substance and men are relevant in many useful ways. In the quest for dating identity we embrace everyone with care and great understanding.  It is about being kind and humane.  It isn’t about complaining all the time about each other.

Knowledge is king.  The more you know about how to identify with the opposite sex by identifying with them the better you will function.  The more you resist them as different than you but mysteriously attractive, the more dating confusion you will have.  Men and women have social attributes that come into play in dating.  Discovering them will get you more dates and a permanent relationship.  The more you discover the creative mind and then project it you then become more attractive.

If you establish a dating identity that leads to relationship building then you will understand it is the most challenging of all ideas on earth.  It is also much more rewarding than logging on to dating web sites and participating in a behavioral circus.  Relationships need to grow. The more rewarding relationships are more intimate have a growth aspect and are deeper in meaning.  Psychologically people in these relationships are feeling better.  Health wise they live longer.

In dating identity you must know where you came from.  In looking at your interactions and your dating history you discover how desirable you are.  You discover what reactions people have toward you by the amount of people that date you again.

Ask these questions.  Is there a perfect mate out there? Will I meet my soul mate?  Perfect mates are an illusion that too many of you aspire to.  What is happening is many of you perfect mate seekers are rejecting each other in larger numbers creating a rejected dating subculture.  This is not good for people.  We all want to be accepted.  This maniacal idea searching for perfection with unrealistic expectations must be put to an end or minimized.  In order to attract you must clear up all your own issues.

Soul mates are possible.  They are difficult to find.  If you don’t marry a soul mate you can still have the greatest of all relationships.  Soul mates are a unison march together.  They do the dance of life in a remarkable way.  They call their time together happy time.  They are deep inside each other in feelings.  They connect on every level.  They are a joy to one another producing all the greatest feelings.  They know each other inside and out.  They think alike and respond similar to each other.  They do the work that it takes to build a life.

If you identify with ease.  If you think everything must come easy.  If you think momentary illusions are possible then you will have a flawed dating identity.  I know many people say I’m just so complicated in my descriptions of dating issues.  I ask you if you feel you might be fooling yourself.

It doesn’t have to be rare to be in a great relationship.  I challenge all men and women to seek out deeper meaning.  It isn’t working the way it is going today.  Let us reunite men and women in the idea of liking each other again in larger numbers.

 

John Holt

 

Matchmaker

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