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Attitude Is Everything in Dating Success

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Attitudinal adjustments may be in your future if you are wondering why dating isn’t working for you.  The emotional state of your mind will dictate your love life.

There is a prevailing wisdom lately among the majority of single women and men that is largely unhealthy.  The attitude is ambivalence with men and over selective women.  Further there are men retreating fast from women.  Many men are simply opting to stay out of active dating.  If this continues there will be further resentment by women that will lead to further retreating men.  To change this we must change attitude.  In order to change attitude we must understand the frustration and offer a new way out of this frustration.  First thing all men and women need to do is take a deep breath and decide that each sex will begin to understand the other sex.  This can no longer be a game of men being passive, too visual, cavalier in attitude and docile.  It also means women need to put away the lists, forget about the sex in the city nonsense and all the pop culture media garbage portraying men as fools.  Furthermore, dating is collective and building relationships is an equal partnership.  Men, forget things ever going back to the old days. It is over. Everybody please put the scorecards away and vow never to manipulate each other again.  Women need to get rid of the shields and roadblocks and men need to go to charm school.  Charisma and humor for all and acceptance for everyone.

If you sat at home on the last several weekends with no date then it is time to figure out if your attitude is sour.  Single folks; be nice to each other, smile, laugh and flirt.  Everyone should adopt confidence.  It’s really good to date nice guys and nice women, after all they are nice!

Please gaze into your dark future and look for the cloud with the silver lining.  Attitude is the silver lining.  Put away the self-help books.  You have control of your mind.   The control you need to take over your mind is one of reality based thinking.  I know, here I go again talking about the reality.  So boo hoo , get over the fact that dreams are bunk and reality is the truth in life.  Reality is king. Focus on the fact that no men and women are perfect but they are interesting people capable of sharing fun, laughter, commitment and love.  Your attitudes and beliefs paint the picture of your life.  If you are afraid of rejection then join humanity.  Rejection should be a learning experience.  In dating you should identify what type of person rejected you and then target someone unlike them to date next.  If you chase after the same types that reject you then you will never succeed.  In dating you must respond to criticism from those that care about you and react in a learning way.

Self-limiting belief systems that many men and women adopt can be destructive.  You develop beliefs that limit your options, and then you wonder why you are alone.  Getting a sense of self is important.  If you are a picky so and so then join the crowd of the largest dating failures on earth.   Picky picky singles are alone the majority of the time and they develop very bitter attitudes which then will further arrest their dating development.  Get over yourself and settle.   I know I said settle!  Many of you will settle for the greatest relationship ever if you get off the pedestal you put yourself on.   Could I John Holt be the voice in your mind?  Just today I met a woman in RI who signed up with Tri-State Dating Service she thinks it might be that she isn’t attractive.  She is attractive, she is nice.  She has great qualities. It took me to point that out.  I can give it to you straight.  I can inspire you, educate you and help you.  I can only do that with great attitude.  Sour attitude, blaming everyone and everything will doom you to failure.  When you let a negative attitude about the opposite sex prevail and take root it is like a cancer.  Every interaction in the future will be dictated by it.  You will have a false idea of who the opposite sex really is.  The bad attitude will destroy your dating life.  It’s ok if some people don’t like you, find the ones that will.  If you do not decide to get rid of desperation, bitterness and resentment you are doomed to being single for life. If you have not learned that is unhealthy to be suspicious of the opposite sex then I feel sorry for you.

Self-fulfilling prophecy these days is so much blame getting tossed by women at men and men at women.  It is frustration. Sit down and adopt a new attitude.  It will never hurt to change course.  It will never hurt you to open up. It is time we all relaxed and learned about each other.


John Holt